These daily excerpts from Randy Kay's book Daily Keys to Success will show you how to grow your potential while expanding your personal success to lead a life of significance. You will benefit from 365 topics with ideas, tools, and tactics for living life fully.
There are different opinions about what makes a happy marriage, but it’s the one you hadn’t thought about that may be the saving one for you. We know, for example, that a man’s primary need in a relationship is respect, and that a woman’s primary need is to feel loved. Let’s consider what some of the most enduring marriage partners have to say about what’s kept them together.
A survey of partners across the country who had been married for thirty- plus years asked them how they stayed together. What ranked as the most often given reason? The answer: they may have thought of killing each other, but never seriously considered divorce as an option. These long-term couples remained committed to finding solutions for even their most heated arguments. They focused on the next period in their relationship rather than the immediate threat.
Commitment ranked as the number one reason why marriages last, and the one quality that is lacking most in today’s marriages. The top reasons given for leaving a partner, even for those who have remained committed, were abuse, infidelity, and unresolved addiction. Indeed, no one should be at the constant affect of any of these destructive habits. Research found that while marriage can be a bed of roses, it invariably includes a few thorns. Tempers can erupt over a tube of toothpaste pressed in the middle, or some unmet expectation, but couples who accept their partner’s peculiarities were found to be most satisfied.
Couples who expected perfection were the least satisfied. These statistics testify to the fact that marriage is hard work, but always worth the effort—and communication is the key. Those who maintain respect for their partner through open and honest communication created a more trusting relationship.
Mutual respect and unselfishness were the two biggest reasons for flourishing marriages. Partners couldn’t get too mired in their own selfish wants. Those who wanted a fifty-fifty split in getting their way didn’t succeed as well as those who would settle for forty-sixty, with each agreeing to offer the most to the other. These couples put we first, themselves second. Successful marriage partners also valued time for each other. Sparking the romance involved planned dates to keep the flames burning. Making time to create treasured memories cemented lasting love.
“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.”~ Andre Maurois