I will tell only clean jokes in public
Daily Keys to Success
These daily excerpts from Randy Kay's book Daily Keys to Success will show you how to grow your potential while expanding your personal success to lead a life of significance. You will benefit from 365 topics with ideas, tools, and tactics for living life fully.
A group of professional men and women sat at tables during dinnertime after a long meeting day to await their meals. The president came up with a “brilliant” idea to break the ice. He asked that each person tell a joke, starting with his. One by one, each person told a joke until one man decided to share a dirty joke, which offended most of the women and several of the men in the group. The moral of this true story: if you have to tell joke, at least make it a clean one. In order to give you some material, here are twenty good, or at least decent, ones:
1) I poured root beer into a square cup. Now I just have beer. 2) Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field. 3) Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they had four it would be a chicken sedan. 4) What do you get when you put a piano down a mineshaft? A flat miner. 5) What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?...Bison. 6) What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. 7) I once worked at a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near it. 8) Doctor: “I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol.” Patient: “That’s OK, I will come back when you are sober.” 9) What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick. 10) I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised. 11) What do you call a zebra that has been given an uppercut by Chuck Norris? A giraffe. 12) Why did the chicken cross the road only halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line. 13) What do you get when you cross a chicken and a pit bull? Just the pit bull. 14) Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. 15) Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Ya. Ya who? What are you getting so excited about? 16) Knock, Knock! Who’s there Vera. Vera who? Vera few people think these jokes are funny! 17) What’s the difference between a shower curtain and a piece of toilet paper? Response: “I don’t know.” Answer: So you’re the one. 18) What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish. 19) I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home, all the signs were there. 20) Who is the roundest knight at King Arthur’s table? Sir Cumference.
“The difficult thing with quotes on the Internet is verifying them.” ~ Abraham Lincoln